Category: INFO

A Selection of Readers’ Captions:

Bernard Matthews was over the moon with the new Neighbourhood policing unit in Norfolk. He says it’s “Bootiful, really Bootiful”! – SL

Don’t reckon much to the new Gold Command centre! – PW

The officers that arrived at they new budget station where unimpressed! – DM

The police’s latest attempt to build relations with the travelling community! – JW

Officers weren’t impressed when the new staff arrived, they said it was like working with animals! – MR

Police budget holidays! – IR

Undercover officers infiltrating travellers at Dale Farm awoke to find a subtle message that they should get stuffed! – TC

Bernard Matthews Police where quick to respond to the prison escape, they had even set up a mobile command post! – CC

Police were out in force this Christmas keeping watch over a large number of illegal immigrant turkeys! – TL

Police take action against Turkey riots! – PW

Even police in Istanbul are facing cutbacks…! – CP

A Selection of Readers’ Captions:

MOD Plod never did get the hang of hide and seek! – BH
The MOD didn’t like the 4x4s that they had so thought they’d trash one! – AO
North Yorks sell ageing 4×4 fleet and spend money on new “Enforcers” for their Tactical Support Units to aid the speed and execution of premises warrants! – SS
Um Sarge… you know that builder we booked last week…! – KM
I told you pitting him wouldn’t work! – JW
Although the sergeant said they’d got a Greyhound as an addition to the MoD Dog Unit, somehow they doubted it would fit in the jeep! – OC
People will see the car so i think we will lose at hide and seek! – KL
Should have gont to specsavers! – MJ
Time Team in the year 2100: look at this ancient vehicle we’ve dug up from the past! – TC
Delta-Alpha-Two-One to Control – We’ve attended that report of an out-of-control ‘greyhound’. I think you can cancel the dog unit! – MP

A Selection of Readers’ Captions:

Never, ever go anywhere without a Hi-Viz! – JS
Should have gone to Specsavers! – AE
New conservative budget cuts to the NHS meant that Ambulance staff faced cutbacks to the new uniform! – ABC
Brian thought he had definitely got a bum deal! – KM
Least he’ll never be short of somewhere to park his bike! – GC
The cycle response unit are currently trialing a new light weight uniform. The staff aren’t convinced! – JS
BEWARE!! Raised manhole ahead! – CF
New NHS Procedure – To cause incidents not prevent them! – MJ
Looks like a bit of Flower power going under his seat! – MR
After a spate of collisions with motor vehicles, cycle paramedics are now being told to make themselves more noticable to drivers! – MP
First aid kit, check. Helmet, check. Bike, check. Now what have I forgotten?! – SC

A Selection of Readers’ Captions:

Let this be a warning to all who prank call the fire service: THEY KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE! – JS
The annual emergency services stunt driving competition was a huge success, until one team started cheating with a forklift! – KM
The new cost cutting, space saving, way of parking your car on station! – AB
To make some extra cash, firemen were now doing MOTs on station! – AB
The local Fire crew are paid so little, that they can only afford to replace 2 tyres at a time. The new style of driving assists in cutting down the wear! – BH
That’s one way to retrieve the ‘Chippy Run’ you dropped under the Watch Manager’s car! – PW
After the recession, the cutbacks started with the doughnuts. In sheer desperation the firemen used drastic measures to find some! – CP
Day 1 at the fire appliance driving school wasn’t going well! – MR
Listen guys, I know you’re bored, but you can’t go around CAUSING an RTC! – IB
Government spending cuts mean that the fire service will now be assisting the police with ending vehicle pursuits! – MP
I don’t think she’s grasped parallel parking! – WB

A selection of readers’ captions:

New police fitness regime intended to get slimmer riot squads had an unintended consequence! – KM
The new riot officer was a little deflated! – GC 
These goverment cuts have gone to far! – AC
Police hunt for a runaway steamroller! – TC
The budget cuts within police forces have gone too far for some officers, leaving them to walk out of the job a bit under dressed! – MH
Tony Stark falls on hard times when designing the latest Iron Man armour! – KM
A defect in the taser gun causing it to back-fire is discovered! – MH
Darth Vader was having a very bad day… – AI
The new slim fast diet for police officers! – AO
Work got you feeling flat? – JS
The knee bone connects to the thigh bone, the thigh bone connects to the hip bone…! – PW 
New Government cutbacks meant the new robotic riot police were hurried to be completed! – IB

Here are a selection of reader captions:

Exterminate! – MR
Defibrilate! Defibrilate! – ABC
The Darleks were disappointed to find that the Doctor wasn’t attending! – AI
The Darleks invade Britain!… starting at Sainsbury’s in Oxford – NT
Donate, DONATE! – TC
The budget crisis means ambulance staff are being replaced with cheaper alternatives! – TC 

Here are a selection of reader captions:

Here ye here ye, I appear to be stuck! E&J
This could turn into a “mayor” of a job! – PW
It’s the Santa & Rescue Service coming to get Santa! – LA
I told you your bell wasn’t on top of that tower! – IB
Council consider fire prevention budget! – LH
Drunken fancy dress party… the morning after! – WP
Told you he wouldn’t believe us when we said we leave him up there! – MB
Didn’t  you get the football down OK? – TR
I now declare this Bronto Skylift open!…. Can I come down now lads? – DM
And the mayor’s rooftop protest is brought to an early end! – SM

Here are a selection of reader captions:

Well, yeah this is fast for an ambulance, but the police force in the nearest village have a donkey with LEDs on it, now that can haul ass! – SL
If Shrek was a paramedic…! – WP
The Cow response unit – reaching all calls in under 8 minutes! – DS
Look at the new truck – its a 2 gnu power unit & does 10 miles per bale of hay! – PW
Nice to see the Trust buying state of the art and environmentally friendly this year! -JC
NHS cutbacks really started to take their toll! – KRL
Probably a hundred times more reliable than the Sprinters! – AC
A sign that fuel prices are to high for government! – JB
The ambulance broke down: this our reserve! – AG
Should have gone private! – TS
Is this what they mean by budget reductions?? – AOS

Here are a selection of reader captions:

Well I’m not getting it, Who’s got the least service? – DH
You two, don’t tell me you’ve gone and parked the squad car here!!! – MRP
Ladies First! – GM
The new recruits initiation test took a menacing turn! – KL
No I can’t see Geoff’s hat either…maybe it has sunk by now…? – NS
Right, one more time, we were passing the keys, when……. – M
Hmmmm, shell we go to McDonalds…. or Kentucky….. or the good old greasy spoon? –  SL
To get wedged in there he must have been very thin! – D
Now how do explain to Sarg that the car ended up in here?! – S
Just wait, if goes past the line its the other force’s problem! – CS
A member of the public reported an unusual sight in the local canal. Police are looking into it! – SO
Are you sure this is where the sat nav said the new station was?! – TC

We also go an entry in the form of an image, thanks Tommy!

Here are a selection of reader captions:

What’s the name of this creek again? – SB
This photo is a new clip form an upcoming tv show: CSI: Venice – SL
I think I will stick to the Astra lads! – KH
Search for the speeding pirates. If it’s above 10 knots it’s a £60 fine & 3 points on their licence! – ST
Where did you say the Titanic was boss? – AF
Every year they do this boys, illegal drag race down the Thames, get those Oxbridge racers! – AC
And if someone sings “Row row row your boat gently down the stream” once more I am going to taser ’em! – SL
The cutbacks in the river policing budget had hit the division hard! – PW
British riot cops take a lesson from the Vienna police force! – JA
That duck was going a bit fast, Sarge. Shall we tail him? – TL
The Met have decided to take a more ecological approach to policing the Thames! -DC
The new British Border Police! – A

Here are a selection of reader captions:

I think we’re a little overdressed! -ST
Er.. sarge, is it still “Indecent Exposure” if they’re all doing it? – DC
I was only joking when I said you could park your bike in it! – AB
At the local police cycle training run, there’s confusion over the dress code! – CP
Ah The Heck With It Sarge, I’m Going Natural! – JW
Mmmmm nice lycra! – AB
Bet there’s gonna be some nasty chaffing going on ere today! – MB
I should have done what my partner did and not looked! ….. When’s the next counseling session? – D
Police use new tactics to scare of yobs! – JA
Due to police cash problems the new recruits uniforms weren’t ready in time! – AW
The police felt rather over-dressed for the occasion! – IB
Modern police service attempts to reassure the public that it has nothing to hide! – MD
Move along now, nothing to see! – W

Here are a selection of reader captions:

Spot the dummy! – PM
One of them is still alive! – KH
His attempt to avoid the next shout was soon rumbled… – CM
It’s no use hiding Smith , we can still see your trainers, now WASH the yard!!!! – M
John always said he work with a pile of dummies! – AJB
Stuffed! – RM
As a beat Astra came round the corner, the thief tried to hide with the surroundings! – TL
Auditions for entry to fire service! – AC
Which one is the dummy, they all look the same to me! – S
These sleeping policemen get more and more realistic every day! – JA
When the skip was taken away in caption 1 this is what the ambulance crew were horrified to find! – AF
Officer down! – BC
Ha-ha, I win, I found the odd one out! – BW
What the hell did I have to drink? SL
Police sports & social club – the morning after! – SB
Quick here’s the Inspector, look busy! – M

Here are a selection of reader captions:

Due to NHS cut backs, A&E had a smaller holding area – AC
Nice new model, but why hasn’t it got blue lights! – DL
NHS on cutbacks – New mobile mortuary – JA
Ambulance Staff take hide and seek to a new level – DL
I Think The Ambulance Is  A More Hygienic Way Of Carrying The Ill Than That Skip. – JW
I think changing the colour of the Ambulance to Red is a silly idea ! – EL
Who Put That There? How am I supposed to get that out smarty? – CD
I see the the Saturday Night A&E motors has arrived then boss! – SL
Stan couldn’t quite fit his new lunch box in the crew locker….. – AB
4.5years old now, time for a new one! – BW
You can see why they needed to replace it’s older sister. – TL
NHS – What a load of rubbish – SL
A Brand new ambulance is put on show with the oldest of the fleet! – DM
What a lovely match – JL
In an effort to improve efficiency YAS take on new larger capacity red ambulances – PM
I wonder if they have different response times? – SL
The paramedics weren’t really sure what to do. They had never been called out for a “A 47 year old male suffering severe pain due to being crushed by a skip”! – SL
Echo521 we can still see you on station no matter how much you try to hide it! – PJW